Water Cooler One Liner's

I'm the Junior Senator

2009-01-06T09:36:00.000-08:00

from Illinois!

I thought the guy was gonna at least click his heels together three times after he said it.

I hope they stop covering him, Quickly.

Funniest Commercial Ever

2008-10-23T10:56:00.000-07:00

I laughed so hard at this. They look like messed up monks.

What Does It Say About America

2008-10-19T12:37:00.000-07:00

That "Beverly Hills Chihuahua" was the number one box office draw for the two previous weekends?

What does it say about Hollywood?

Another Day

2008-10-14T07:47:00.000-07:00

Another economic plan from John McCain, eh?

The Way McCain Talks About Hoover In His New Speech

2008-10-13T08:47:00.000-07:00

you'd swear Hoover was a democrat.

Stay classy with that demagoguery about you knowing the people's fear and hopelessness by playing the P.O.W. card. I wasn't impressed because it represented all the patchwork economic "plans" (knee jerk reactions to news events) that only emerge because of his constantly changing positions. I don't think it will work. If another economic ulceration to appears on America's hide, he'll have to go back to the drawing board again.

So How Messed Up

2008-10-12T20:40:00.000-07:00

is it that commercial space tourism begins/launches/blasts off/whatever trite pun you can think up in 20 seconds/ with 2 americans (and a russian) paying to get on a russian rocket?

So

2008-10-08T09:27:00.001-07:00

Heard McCain promised to buy your house last night...good luck with that.

Kinda like the 50 something sugar daddy that shows up to his favorite strippers house with a car...he doesn't really like you, he just wants to fuck you, and he's gotten a bit desperate.

What's Palin Going to do Next to Seek Attention

2008-10-06T06:49:00.000-07:00

pop out of a frickin' cake?

Give Me A Break!

2008-10-03T14:43:00.000-07:00

This is a little late, yeah?

Two Overused Words

2008-10-03T14:14:00.000-07:00

I'm guilty of this too. I overuse the words 'actually' and 'obviously'. People need to use these words less in speech.

People say something obvious, and stick the word obviously there when they didn't need to say anything at all if it was that obvious. The word is useful though when something embarrassing happens involving you (farting, a big stain on your chest, a major gaffe or some other faux pax) and you want to clear the air, so to speak, by owning up to it so that life can go on.

Actually is overused more than obviously. It's sometimes used before expressing an item of trivia. It ends up making the user sound like a smart ass. And nobody likes a smart ass.

It's actually been a long time since I've watched '60 Minutes', but obviously I remember the final commentary contributed by Andy Rooney.

Good luck

2008-10-02T17:53:00.001-07:00

Mayor Palin, you're going to need it.

I thought competition was good for the economy, but

2008-09-26T09:41:00.001-07:00

pretty soon we're going to be left with two banks in the united states. The one the government owns and the one most people sleep on.

I thought

2008-09-26T09:33:00.000-07:00

only criminals emptied out banks in the middle of the night. Oh, wait...

That's how I felt this morning when I woke up to the news that WaMu got hastily purchased by JP Morgan Chase Thursday after being seized by the feds. Seems a bit weird to wait until the middle of the night to release news of a huge transaction of that sort. Maybe it was I who missed the news break since I watched the dodgers lose and put it on the history channel before I went to sleep.

So...

2008-09-26T09:03:00.000-07:00

how many moose tranquilizers did Sarah Palin take to get the edge off before the Katie Couric interview?

Obama's Teleprompter at the Clinton whatever-it-is

2008-09-25T07:44:00.001-07:00

is pissing me off. I didn't remember the teleprompter freezing up when McCain was up there at 630-ish...Some of the most uncomfortable 5 second pauses I've witnessed since the Palin interview.

I just want to remind everyone

2008-09-19T07:51:00.001-07:00

that the fundamentals of the economy are strong.

So I saw Obama in Person yesterday...

2008-09-17T20:33:00.000-07:00

and his ears totally look so much bigger in person.

If You're going to hack A V.P. candidates account...

2008-09-17T15:18:00.001-07:00

save all the emails before celebrating!

and now the account is poof!

great job, l33ts.

I'm holding out hope you guys got all the info but aren't letting it be known just yet to see if Palin hangs herself a bit more in the press...

Some guy

2008-09-16T13:17:00.001-07:00

is saying we the taxpayer should bail out AIG because it's "different" than other companies wanting to be bailed out.

Hey, government regulator taxpayers...can you authorize some taxpayer money sent my way so I can pay off all my debts and bad investements? I'm special.

lol...

the straight talk express has become

2008-09-16T13:04:00.000-07:00

the split tongue sidewinder. Very common in my state and the state of arizona...

Hey, So What Do You Think About That Salty Guy?

2008-09-15T12:49:00.000-07:00

It would be great to get Saltalamacchia and cut ties with Varitek. He's going to want to be paid cash and years only the Yankees will be able to justify.

Nah. He probably goes to the Mariners or some other mystery team that doesn't make sense. That's kind of what happens to Boras clients.

Pink Floyd Keyboardist died.

2008-09-15T12:47:00.001-07:00

Sorry, bro-in-law :( no more "complete" Pink Floyd reunion.

How Long Before

2008-09-15T08:39:00.000-07:00

The hot secretary look will be in full bloom in the media and on the streets due to Sarah freakin' Palin. Woohoo! The Paris/O.C./Britney Bratz doll looks were getting old.

There are some good things about a president that can't use a computer

2008-09-12T08:08:00.000-07:00

Won't catch him texting friends about sports.

He's not going to be forwarding emails of funny youtube clips.

Not going to take a vacation to play Spore like about half the IT/webmaster types probably are right about now

At 3 A.M. when the red phone rings he won't already be awake stroking it to internet porn

Palin doesn't know

2008-09-12T07:59:00.000-07:00

what the Bush doctrine is, but either does my better half. Well then again, my wife doesn't want to be vice president.

McCain Contradictions

2008-09-12T07:54:00.000-07:00

Today...12:35-ish or so, he declares that the regulators were asleep at the switch while stating how hard he worked in the senate for regulating banks/wall street/yada yada.

So says the guy who was involved in the S&L scandal in the 80's...

My God...the Bush (and Clinton) administrations neutered the regulatory system of banks/financial markets. The regulators weren't freaking asleep! They (what was left of them after cuts to their department) were handcuffed!

I Wouldn't

2008-09-12T07:52:00.000-07:00

use email or computers if I had a team of people willing to do it all for me. Must be nice to never have to delete spam.

And I thought Aguado had a hard life.

Fun with Fox-News quotes

2008-09-12T07:46:00.000-07:00

Multi lines this post because it was live t.v. so not likely to be read online.

All quotes from 7:47-48 AM PST on the Palin interview segment. It was a 2 minute segment and they didn't laud the speech, which kind of confirms she didn't perform well. Anyways their talking head reacting to Palin...

"Sarah Palin didn't fall into any traps...was a bit robotic and nervous, but she made no gaffes. Otherwise she'd be all over the news right now."

"She stuck to the talking points well."

"The interviewer made a mistake about the Bush doctrine."

Murdoch needs to change the fox logo. They need a red, white, and blue fox wearing a red, white, and blue flag. Maybe with a turkey or an eagle in it's mouth.

Palin knows what's going on in Russia

2008-09-12T07:43:00.000-07:00

because on a good day from certain parts of the states she can see the place.

Isn't it time to stop

2008-09-12T07:39:00.000-07:00

broadcasting outside during natural disasters like the one lady putting a boat in a puddle? Put the newsperson on the balcony of a hotel room and take your shot there. Much safer and people still get to see the dramatic water and wind.

The moose

2008-09-12T06:59:00.000-07:00

ate her homework.

Our Alaska Paper

2008-09-12T06:57:00.000-07:00

hasn't had a national news section since 2000. We let national news trickle in from newcomers.

The national news wire

2008-09-12T06:55:00.000-07:00

doesn't have a pipeline that makes it to Alaska. I said, "Thanks, but no thanks" to that one.

"I was out moose hunting...

2008-09-12T06:54:00.001-07:00

when the Bush doctrine was invented!"

It's comforting

2008-09-12T06:52:00.000-07:00

to know that a potential leader doesn't waste her time reading current events and stuff.

So

2008-09-12T06:48:00.000-07:00

it's nice to wake up and realize a majority of people in the U.S. are more qualified to be vice president than Sarah Palin.

Probably not Original

2008-09-12T06:39:00.000-07:00

Someone probably thought this up already, but I'm too stubborn to go look that up because I like this idea so much and would like to think I had an original thought. Besides the dodgers articles I cite my audience of two (too bad cats can't read or I might have 4) have pretty much either seen the news on television or read it already on the internet. Even witty analysis or crude name calling eventually wear thin, especially when pressed for time. So I came up with this new style, the one liner blog posting with nothing else. No text. No cute pictures. No youtube links. Nothing. Just a headline. It's like reading all the newspaper headlines without reading the stories (even skipping the little cnn synopsis in the upper right). You'll already know what I'm talking about. It's the little one liners you hear from smart-asses and friends at the lunchroom or water cooler. Not enough time for a huge discussion of the matter, so was born the water cooler one liner. I don't know if that's true I just made all that up. Sounded good, though.

And so it begins...